Philip Wagner

(A 2 minute reading time / a lifetime of results)

Your marriage can have a fresh start!  You can turn it around!

But here is the challenge - to have a great marriage – you will have to become great at…. forgiveness! 

Forgiveness is one of the highest expressions of love!

That’s how God showed His love for us.

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.  Ephesians 4:32 NIV84

Learn to forgive the little things. Yes, those little annoying things that pile up.   

• Insensitivity, forgotten errands, annoying habits,
• burping, rolling the eyes, chewing too loudly,
• snoring, discussing the same problem over & over again and spending more than they said they would.

You can’t keep a hidden list of offense in your heart that you pull out to bring up during the next disagreement. 

Forgiveness is tearing up emotional “IOU’s” – that we hold on to.

Love is patient, love is kind. … it keeps no record of wrongs.
1 Corinthians 13:4,5 NIV84

Many people make this mistake. Don’t let the little things pile up until you no longer have any love left in your heart.

See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.  Hebrews 12:15 NIV84

We have to forgive the little things and the major offenses also. This can be hard…really hard.  That’s why we need God’s love to help us love the way we need to love.

I am not suggesting that you live under the threat of your personal safety.

I am saying that there are many great marriages that have survived and flourished after a big offense.

Your relationship can discover a new place of intimacy and trust.

What is the offense?

• An inappropriate relationship?
• A lie?
• Pornography?
• An affair?
• A breach of confidentiality?
• A drug or alcohol problem?
• Failed to do what they promised to do?
• Verbal abuse?

Any of these can be huge issues.

Trust has to be earned. Trust can be regained.
Forgiveness is one thing – trust is another.

If you have hurt or betrayed your spouse - be willing to earn back the trust you once had.

If your spouse has hurt you deeply – you may need help to get through it – but you can do it. Get Christian counseling, join a believer’s support group or even grief counseling.

I’m getting convinced that in order for us to keep a loving heart in life – just like Jesus told us - we will have to be a “Black Belt” in forgiveness.

Please leave a comment on this blog. 

            Have you had to forgive your spouse of something significant? 
            What would you say to us to help us to forgive from our heart?