Philip Wagner

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For 25 years I’ve introduced myself as ‘Philip’. You know as in, “What’s your name?” – “Philip” or “Do you prefer to be called ‘Philip’ or Phil’?” - “Philip”

 My friends call me… Philip.

 It’s kind of funny to me how many people insist on calling me Phil no matter what I say. As in, “What’s your name?” – “Philip” – “ok, Phil – It’s great to meet you… hey everyone, I’d like you to meet my friend, Phil…” or “We’ve been friends with ‘Phil & Holly’ for years!!”

 I have a few friends named ‘Phil’ – I like those guys. I don’t have anything against the name ‘Phil.’ It’s cool.

 I prefer Philip.

 It’s weird because it’s a simple thing. It’s really not that big of a deal. But if you try to clarify it too much, people think…”wow, he’s got this ‘thing’ about his name. ”Not really… just wondering if you’re listening…. I guess people are trying to express their friendship and ‘familiarity’ with me by using a nickname.

 One of the areas in marriage that often breaks down, or even in friendships for that matter, is that we disregard what is important to the other person with whom we want to have a good relationship. It’s easy in marriage to assume that we know what’s important to our spouse.

 Something I’ve noticed in life is… People change. People grow. And people have new interests. There are some things that are just important to people.

 What’s important to you?

 When is the last time you actually asked your spouse – “What’s important to you?” And then listened. Really listened.

 Do you want to see your friendship deepen a little? Put some focus on what’s important to your friend. Be aware of the old joke, “Okay, enough talking about ‘me.’ Let’s talk about ‘you.’ What do YOU think about ME?”

 One of the most magnetic elements of a friendship that we can bring is genuine interest in what’s important to the other person.

 Do you know that feeling you get when you are talking to someone and they have that look on their face like they can’t wait for you to finish your sentence so they can give their thought on the issue? It’s like they aren’t really listening to you they are just watching for a break in your sentence so they can jump in.… Or you are talking and your friend has that look on their face that seems to say – “…Blah, blah blah…Whatever! Yada, yada, yada. You are so predictable...I don’t need to listen – I know what you are really thinking.”

 Do you want to take a friendship to the next level? Do you want to strengthen a ‘stalled out’ friendship? Do you want to let your spouse know you care about them? Be brave enough to ask questions that say – “What’s important to you?” …now – LISTEN! (escuche)

 Because love says, “what’s important to you is important to me!!”